Friends, my husband is having surgery AGAIN. This time we are hoping he can re-connect his bowels and not have to have a colostomy any longer. We won't know for sure what the outcome is until surgery is completed. I have faith in GOD that all will be successful.
I cannot even begin to tell you what a mental toll having a colostomy has taken on John. He used to tease me all the time about how "handsome he is" and to be honest, he tended to walk on the arrogant side. Since surgery I have heard things come out of his mouth that just broke my heart. I can't tell you how many times he has told me how "ugly" and "disgusting" he thinks he is. He refers to himself as "Frankenstein" quite frequently and continually verbalizes his disgust because he thinks he "smells bad". He has told me several times he would understand if I left him because of his condition. Often saying "I don't know how you could love me like this".
It kills me to hear him say these things. If he could only see in to my soul. I knew the commitment I was making when I married him. His medical condition doesn't change a thing for me. For him, I will be glad when/if they can reconnect him. I don't want to see him struggle anymore!
Since John got his colostomy I have joined some Facebook Support Groups on the subject to get advice when I needed it and I was SHOCKED at some of the things I heard. People being left and divorced because they had to get some sort of Ostomy. All kinds of prejudice. All kinds of judgement. All kinds of rude comments. It was eye opening and heart breaking at the same time. I will always understand and relate to what these people are put through because of what happened to my husband. I have "met" some amazing people in these groups and anyone that would refuse to get to know them because of a medical condition they can't help to have is seriously missing out!
Please send well wishes, prayers, good vibes, positive energy our way!! Surgery is next week and John is nervous....
His kids adore him, I adore him and we just want surgery to go in accordance with GOD's plan! Thank you for being there for our family during this difficult journey!! We love you friends!!
Stacey
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